這些跡象表明你還沒(méi)有準(zhǔn)備好結(jié)婚
SOMEONE'S ALWAYS PICKING A FIGHT.
總有一方尋釁吵架。
We all have that one friend who insists on finding a love interest they can fight with, because according to them, a relationship without fighting just doesn't constitute "real love." Sure, it's ok for some of your love (or lust) to be boosted by some make-up sex, but hate-fueled conversations that end in separate sleeping situations are an entirely different story.
我們身邊總有這樣的朋友，他/她一定要找到那個(gè)可以吵架的對(duì)象，因?yàn)閾?jù)他們所述，沒(méi)有爭(zhēng)吵的戀情就不是"真愛(ài)。"當(dāng)然，補(bǔ)償性的性愛(ài)會(huì)激發(fā)你的愛(ài)或欲望，這是沒(méi)有問(wèn)題的，但充斥著恨意的談話最終會(huì)導(dǎo)致你們分床睡，這可是個(gè)完全不同的故事了。
"When you don't know clearly who you are, you're going to pick at others," said Price. "It's [about] understanding how to fight, and what it is we're fighting over." If you find that you're resenting your partner in daily activity for no good reason, and you're quick to snap at them but you can't figure out why, there may be some underlying relationship issues that need to be addressed before marriage will be a good idea.
"當(dāng)你不完全清楚自己是誰(shuí)的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)尋釁他人，"普銳斯（Price）說(shuō)道。"也就是關(guān)于對(duì)如何爭(zhēng)吵的理解，以及我們?yōu)槭裁炊鵂?zhēng)吵。"如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己每天都會(huì)無(wú)緣無(wú)故的憎恨另一半、找他們的茬，但卻不知何故時(shí)，那么在你們結(jié)婚前，可能還有一些潛在的戀愛(ài)問(wèn)題急需解決。
YOU'RE KEEPING SECRETS.
你有秘密瞞著他/她。
"These can include the way and with whom you spend your time, information about your finances or your frequent use of a substance," Elisabeth LaMotte, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center told HuffPo.
"這可能包括你和別人共度時(shí)間的方式、你和誰(shuí)在一起、自己的財(cái)務(wù)信息或者對(duì)某物的使用頻率，"臨床社會(huì)工作者、心理治療師、DC咨詢與心理治療中心的創(chuàng)始人伊麗莎白·拉莫特對(duì)HuffPo說(shuō)道。
It all starts with sneaky text messages, a changed phone passcode, and suddenly, you're making up excuses to stay out late.
一切都始于鬼鬼祟祟的短信、改手機(jī)密碼，以及突然間，你開(kāi)始為在外面呆到很晚找借口。
When you make the decision to marry someone, you make the decision to share all aspects of your life. Or at least most people do. Sharing everything, from the silliest to the most intimate things about yourself with your spouse is one of the most special aspects of marriage, so if you're not prepared for that or you feel the need to hide things from your partner for whatever reason, you're missing out. If you know for sure you prefer your own space, it's worth having the conversation with your partner before making marriage official.
當(dāng)你決定嫁/娶某人的時(shí)候，你就決定了分享自己的方方面面。或者至少分享大多數(shù)人分享的東西。與另一半分享自己一切，包括最愚蠢、最親密的事情，是婚姻最為特殊的一個(gè)方面，所有如果你還沒(méi)有準(zhǔn)備好分享一切，或者不管出于什么原因你覺(jué)得有必要瞞著對(duì)方某一些事情，那你就可能錯(cuò)過(guò)了某些東西。如果你確定需要私人空間，那么在正式談婚論嫁之前，和另一半聊一聊是很值得的。
YOU HAVE AN UN-CONFRONTED ADDICTION.
你有一個(gè)無(wú)法直面的癮。
Addiction is powerful, and although those who struggle with it deserve love just as much as everyone, it requires a lot of attention and work to reconcile, which sometimes makes it harder to be committed to developing a marriage.
上癮的力量十分強(qiáng)大，盡管'癮君子'和所有人一樣都值得同樣的愛(ài)，但卻需要大量的心力和精力才能戒除，有時(shí)候會(huì)使承諾于一段婚姻更加困難。
SOMEONE'S ALWAYS PICKING A FIGHT.
總有一方尋釁吵架。
We all have that one friend who insists on finding a love interest they can fight with, because according to them, a relationship without fighting just doesn't constitute "real love." Sure, it's ok for some of your love (or lust) to be boosted by some make-up sex, but hate-fueled conversations that end in separate sleeping situations are an entirely different story.
我們身邊總有這樣的朋友，他/她一定要找到那個(gè)可以吵架的對(duì)象，因?yàn)閾?jù)他們所述，沒(méi)有爭(zhēng)吵的戀情就不是"真愛(ài)。"當(dāng)然，補(bǔ)償性的性愛(ài)會(huì)激發(fā)你的愛(ài)或欲望，這是沒(méi)有問(wèn)題的，但充斥著恨意的談話最終會(huì)導(dǎo)致你們分床睡，這可是個(gè)完全不同的故事了。
"When you don't know clearly who you are, you're going to pick at others," said Price. "It's [about] understanding how to fight, and what it is we're fighting over." If you find that you're resenting your partner in daily activity for no good reason, and you're quick to snap at them but you can't figure out why, there may be some underlying relationship issues that need to be addressed before marriage will be a good idea.
"當(dāng)你不完全清楚自己是誰(shuí)的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)尋釁他人，"普銳斯（Price）說(shuō)道。"也就是關(guān)于對(duì)如何爭(zhēng)吵的理解，以及我們?yōu)槭裁炊鵂?zhēng)吵。"如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己每天都會(huì)無(wú)緣無(wú)故的憎恨另一半、找他們的茬，但卻不知何故時(shí)，那么在你們結(jié)婚前，可能還有一些潛在的戀愛(ài)問(wèn)題急需解決。
YOU'RE KEEPING SECRETS.
你有秘密瞞著他/她。
"These can include the way and with whom you spend your time, information about your finances or your frequent use of a substance," Elisabeth LaMotte, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center told HuffPo.
"這可能包括你和別人共度時(shí)間的方式、你和誰(shuí)在一起、自己的財(cái)務(wù)信息或者對(duì)某物的使用頻率，"臨床社會(huì)工作者、心理治療師、DC咨詢與心理治療中心的創(chuàng)始人伊麗莎白·拉莫特對(duì)HuffPo說(shuō)道。
It all starts with sneaky text messages, a changed phone passcode, and suddenly, you're making up excuses to stay out late.
一切都始于鬼鬼祟祟的短信、改手機(jī)密碼，以及突然間，你開(kāi)始為在外面呆到很晚找借口。
When you make the decision to marry someone, you make the decision to share all aspects of your life. Or at least most people do. Sharing everything, from the silliest to the most intimate things about yourself with your spouse is one of the most special aspects of marriage, so if you're not prepared for that or you feel the need to hide things from your partner for whatever reason, you're missing out. If you know for sure you prefer your own space, it's worth having the conversation with your partner before making marriage official.
當(dāng)你決定嫁/娶某人的時(shí)候，你就決定了分享自己的方方面面。或者至少分享大多數(shù)人分享的東西。與另一半分享自己一切，包括最愚蠢、最親密的事情，是婚姻最為特殊的一個(gè)方面，所有如果你還沒(méi)有準(zhǔn)備好分享一切，或者不管出于什么原因你覺(jué)得有必要瞞著對(duì)方某一些事情，那你就可能錯(cuò)過(guò)了某些東西。如果你確定需要私人空間，那么在正式談婚論嫁之前，和另一半聊一聊是很值得的。
YOU HAVE AN UN-CONFRONTED ADDICTION.
你有一個(gè)無(wú)法直面的癮。
Addiction is powerful, and although those who struggle with it deserve love just as much as everyone, it requires a lot of attention and work to reconcile, which sometimes makes it harder to be committed to developing a marriage.
上癮的力量十分強(qiáng)大，盡管'癮君子'和所有人一樣都值得同樣的愛(ài)，但卻需要大量的心力和精力才能戒除，有時(shí)候會(huì)使承諾于一段婚姻更加困難。
